How Trauma and Unresolved Memories Affect Your Life (And How Therapy Can Help)

If you’ve ever wondered:

• “Why do I keep feeling this way?”

• “Why am I still affected by something that happened years ago?”

• “Why do I overreact even when I know I’m safe?”

You are not alone.

In Getting Past Your Past, psychologist Francine Shapiro explains that many of our present-day struggles—such as anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, or low self-worth—are often connected to unresolved memories from earlier life experiences.

In this article, I’ll share key insights from her book and explain how trauma-informed therapy can help you heal at the root.

Unresolved Trauma Can Stay Active in the Brain

Many people assume that painful events fade with time. But Shapiro’s work shows that difficult experiences can become “stuck in the brain when they aren’t fully processed. The memories are stored in a raw, emotionally charged form—almost like a file that never finished downloading.

This means that even if an event happened long ago, your nervous system may still react as though it is happening now.

Unprocessed trauma can contribute to:

• Chronic anxiety

• Panic attacks

• Depression

• Emotional numbness

• Intense anger or shame

• Relationship patterns that feel hard to break

Why Do I Keep Getting Triggered?

One of the most important concepts in these chapters is the role of emotional triggers.

Triggers are often not “overreactions.” They are clues.

A present-day situation—such as a conflict, criticism, or feeling rejected—may activate an earlier memory network in the brain.

That’s why reactions can feel sudden or overwhelming, even when the current situation doesn’t seem to explain them.

For example, a person may panic even when they are objectively safe, someone may feel unworthy despite success, or a relationship conflict may trigger disproportionate fear or anger.

These reactions are frequently the brain responding to earlier emotional learning, not the current moment.

Therapy for trauma and triggers can help identify the root cause of these responses.

The Brain Has a Natural Ability to Heal

Shapiro introduces the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model, which proposes that the brain is designed to recover and integrate experiences.

Under normal circumstances, we learn from life events and move forward.

But when something is overwhelming—such as trauma, grief, abuse, or chronic stress—the brain may not fully process the experience.

Instead, the memory may remain stored with:

• the original emotions

• body sensations

• negative beliefs

• fear responses

This is why trauma can continue shaping the present.

Trauma Lives in the Body, Not Just the Mind

Many clients are surprised to learn that unresolved trauma isn’t only emotional—it can also be physical.

The body may continue holding stress responses from the past.

This can show up as:

• tightness or tension

• rapid heartbeat

• stomach discomfort

• hypervigilance

• feeling on edge for no clear reason

This is why trauma therapy often focuses on both mind and body healing.

Negative Self-Beliefs Often Come From Past Experiences

Shapiro explains that early painful experiences can shape self-beliefs such as:

• “I’m not good enough”

• “I’m unsafe”

• “I don’t matter”

• “I can’t trust anyone”

Even when people know these beliefs aren’t true, they can feel emotionally real because they are linked to unprocessed memories.

Therapy can help you release these beliefs and rebuild self-worth.

Why Talking About It Isn’t Always Enough

Many people understand their struggles intellectually but still feel stuck emotionally.

That’s because trauma is not stored as logic—it is stored as emotion, sensation, and memory networks.

This is why approaches like EMDR therapy and other trauma-informed methods can be so effective.

They help the brain fully process what never healed, allowing old memories to lose their emotional charge.

Therapy for Trauma, Anxiety, and Relationship Patterns

If you are experiencing:

• anxiety that won’t go away

• trauma symptoms

• emotional triggers

• difficulty in relationships

• persistent shame or insecurity

• feeling stuck in old patterns

You may benefit from working with a trauma-informed therapist.

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) trained in EMDR and other trauma-informed therapy, I help clients explore the connection between past experiences and present distress so they can heal, grow, and move forward.

Ready to Start Healing?

You don’t have to stay trapped in patterns shaped by the past.

Healing is possible, and therapy can provide the support and tools to help you truly move beyond unresolved experiences.

If you are looking for:

• trauma therapy

• EMDR therapy

• anxiety counseling

• relationship therapy

• help with triggers and emotional regulation

I invite you to reach out for a consultation.